Accoutrements Lip Balm - Bacon
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Our Price: $0.24
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Category: Toy
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Accoutrements Lip Balm - Bacon Details
Manufacturer: AccoutrementsBrand: Accoutrements
Model: 11957
Product features:
- Every time you eat bacon don't you wish you could taste that cured meat flavor all day long?
- Well, now you can! Just carry around a tube of this Bacon Lip Balm and you can keep your lips moist and meaty around the clock
- Warning: Your lips will smell like bacon, but they are not bacon.
- Do not eat your lips.
- Zero calorie bacon treat.
Customer Reviews of Accoutrements Lip Balm - Bacon
Customer Review: It'll "Cure" what ails ya!
Summary: 2 Stars
James Bonneville Duisenberg Belushingham III aka Jim Belushi had always been one of Hollywood's "lady killers." They were all killed on accident however, usually because they got too close to the craft table while Belushi was feeding and he felt his feeding ground was threatened. He was also considered one of Hollywood's smoothest operators, and wined and dined starlets like Elizabeth Taylor, Valerie Bertinelli, Barbara Stanwyk, Rue Paul, Jessica Alba, Britney Spears, Jessica Biel Agnes Moorhead, Patti Duke, Davy Jones and Tootie and Blair from the Facts of Life. He lived the life a stallion, boldly marking his mares with a bite to their shank and then cockily striding on to the next conquest. Every man wanted to be him and every woman wanted him. It seemed Belushi's relentless and drool-splattered plowing of Hollywood's most fertile Gardens would never end.
Then along came a garden gnome named Conchata Ferrell. Conchata, recently divorced from funny man Will Ferrel was on the prowl, looking for another funny man to tickle her funny bone. When she couldn't find one she set her sights on Jim Belushi. As renowned for her seductive powers as she was though, she knew she needed to up her game to capture this elusive man, who'd been dubbed the Love Sasquatch because of his ability to avoid ensnarement. What though, could Conchata do differently than all Hollywood's assembled honies?
Bacon Flavored Lip
While the details of their legendary first meeting are lost to time, it's known that Belushi was smitten by Conchata at first contact. "She smelled like pork rinds and tasted like Heaven" he told a reporter from Bigg'Uns magazine. Conchata's salt-cured lips had felled the big stud. ...The White Whale had finally been landed!
After a whirlwind courtship followed a fairytale wedding catered by Krispy Kreme(which closed down entirely for 6 days to accommodate the needs of the couple) the marriage ended tragically when Belushi suffered his 24th heart attack and was urged by his doctors to limit his salt and cholesterol intake. Without the mystical power of bacon Conchata lost her hold on her man, and their fairytale marriage ended 38 minutes after it had started. It worked out well for Conchata however, since she retained the Bacon flavored lip balm and is now dating a string of Hollywood's heavy hitters including John Goodman, Larry Joe Campbell, Larry the Cable Guy, Zombie Marlin Brando and Rosie O'Donnell.
Yes folks, life is good with Bacon Flavored Lip Balm! So smear some pork on your lips, it'll "cure" what ails you
Description of Accoutrements Lip Balm - Bacon
Every time you eat bacon don't you wish you could taste that cured meat flavor all day long? Well, now you can! Just carry around a tube of this Bacon Lip Balm and you can keep your lips moist and meaty around the clock. Warning: Your lips will smell like bacon, but they are not bacon. Do not bite your lips. Each tube is 2-1/2" (6.4 cm) long with a twist bottom dispenser.Health, Care, Beauty Products
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